Still There? I am

For those of you that unsubscribed the moment the Bar was over: excellent choice. No point in dwelling over spoiled milk. No use crying and clawing at the sun.

For those of you that are still there: life does go on after the Bar. For a few weeks, I was convinced that after the last day of the Bar, the earth would open up and swallow me whole. Existence would end because the earth would explode in a Rapture-like incident. Well. It didn't. I'm still here. And life does keep ticking along in a mundane fashion. Very mundane and very financially crippled fashion.

Outline:
1. New baking project: cupcakes - but how to ship???
2. Health Insurance is the new highway robbery.
3. Job search - like a square-wheeled cart rolling down a hill.

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1. New Baking Project: Cupcakes.

I would like to start a new kickstarter project. I would like to bake cupcakes. Well, I would like to bake regular cakes, it's just that cupcakes are so much more portable, easier to keep fresh, and portion controlled. Thus, it has been decided that cakes, baked in small circular paper, portion controlled, would be the obvious answer. Call it what you like: cupcake. Mini-cakes. Small tea cakes. It's not really a cupcake because I really don't like frosting. Especially not the hi-hat frosting that has 3 inches of buttercream sitting atop a 1 inch cake.

Frosting is also not easy to ship. That is a good reason to forgo the frosting. There has been a movement towards something called cupcake-in-a-jar. Thoughts? Initially, I thought: bbbbrrrrrppppth. Ridiculous. The concept requires shipping cupcakes in glass mason jars. Or glass canning jars. Or glass jars in general. Doesn't this concept seem very...heavy? Glass Jars. Being shipped. Yes, I have an unreasonable fear of broken glass. But this might be the best way to ship cupcakes.

I got some vanilla bean paste and have been making these delicious vanilla bean cupcakes. They are very nice with a dollop of dark chocolate ganache or some custard, or both. Also, I've been revisiting my make-believe childhood with confetti cake. White cake, colored sprinkles. Happiness flows from the sight of such festive treats.

2. Health Insurance is the new highway robbery.

While in school, we had a janky health insurance through K****r. It was expensive but I was too naive to realize that other health care was out there. I am really ignorant to the whole situation but perhaps there have been more options in the last 2 years because more people have lost their jobs? Just speculating. Well. While I was in school, I had this janky health insurance. It did the trick. But now that I'm grad-u-ma-cated, it's gone. And the continuation health coverage is nearly $500 per month!!! That is almost as much as rent! That's like a very low mortgage! That is way more than I have available as an unemployed, recent grad, waiting for my Bar results.

As I sat here this morning an looked for alternative means of health insurance, I came across one that required payment of the first month along with the application. Um. Sure? Luckily it's $83 per month so much much less than the janky one. But what kind of clause is that? My application may still be rejected. But is the monthly fee going to be refunded if it gets rejected? Or do they keep it? Where is the fine print on this? It is nothing like shopping around for car insurance where you get a quote and then you get to think about it. Here, you get a quote, then you fill in your medical record information and they tell you to pay this fee, then let you know if you made the cut.

Additionally, the janky medical insurance has a terrible website. Everything goes in circles. The website is a terrible mess. I could not navigate my way around to figure out when my coverage was suppose to end. When I finally sent in my paperwork for continuation, it turns out they retroactively charged me for the 2 months in between. I wasn't even in the country for part of the time! This means I currently have about 3 months to pay. If I had known it was retroactive, I would have used it. But I was so afraid of incurring hidden fees that I just stopped. Highway robbery. I am so confused.

I feel like that Geico commercial where the older gentleman trains guinea pigs to row a boat to generate electricity so he can surf the web.
"Row."
"Row."

3. Job Search: Bandersnatch.

This limbo period is terrible for the soul. It eats at the mind, sucks up confidence, shreds good night sleep and spits it out like a wood chipper. Colorado got bar results back. Go VAL! Congrats. But it does remind me of another thing to take care of: School Loans.

School loans. Wish it took years off the end of one's life. But instead it starts right away. Again, graduation seems so far away when a young, bright-eyed student signs the loan papers. There should be a surgeon general warning that states what the final loan amount will be. WAY MORE THAN YOU THINK! $500,000? $450,000? $20,000? Especially compared with the average salary for attorneys now, the amount was a shocker. How do educated people ever make enough money if you factor in rent, living expenses, car payment, school loan, health insurance, car insurance. I guess you could try to minimize living expenses by eating only free food (Costco on Sunday, Whole Foods cheese samples, networking meetings). Again. I'm back to being a starving actor.

I am going to be a starving actor. I am a starving actor. Sigh.

This week, I have to make 1 birthday cake for a friend and her husband, about a dozen cupcakes for the party, a small cake for a dinner and some cupcakes into which I can drown my sorrows. Maybe there's room for a trifle somewhere in there. Some frozen berries, custard, jelly, vanilla sponge cake, and it turns out delicious.

See, writing about food and food prep makes me optimistic! Writing and thinking about my life makes it go the other way. Maybe I will start a bakery after all.