Rockin' Blondies

Oh sweetbabyjebusheavenlysaintedmother. I have a confession. A sweet, sweet, confession. Brownies are not my forte. I tend to put too many extras in it. For instance, the bonus brownies had way too many whole cashews and caramels bits and drizzled with too much melted white chocolate. I know, "How is that possible?" Well, it is. It was a daemon to slice and my experience was peppered with profanities. In the end, the "squares" are held together with the packaging. Please don't get mad at me because the brownies don't hold their shape too well. It's because I love you, and I put my allergy ridden life on the line cooking with nuts. (Yesterday while packing up the brownies for shipment, I did get an itchy throat and slight difficulty breathing. My throat still feels a bit funny today, since, I ate a brownie after picking out all the nuts. Hee.)

After baking a completely selfless batch of brownies, I wanted something I could eat. Enter the HOT BLONDE. It should be an advert: Wanted, hot blonde with legs for days. Flexible, scented with butter and vanilla, chewy to the bite and hiding some chocolate. The last bit sounds weird.

I dutifully did my stupid bar prep (highest score was 15/18 correct! Not a failure yet!) early in the morning (wake at 7:20 am, lecture started by 8, finished by 11:30 am!). I was looking forward to this blondie recipe because it is a modified version of the cookie that launched a thousand ships. It has all the makings of the perfect baked good. It's chewy, but not raw (i.e. there's enough leavening and flour to give it structural integrity). It's sweet, and not too healthy tasting. It contains chocolate of 2 colors. The edges where the bar touches the pan has caramelized the vast quantity of scented brown sugar. The Bourbon Vanilla extract wafts tenderly up from the beautiful bronzed surface of the cookie bar.

This is exactly how I wanted to start off my Cosmomorphic Cookie project. Exactly. I'm so glad I didn't make oatmeal raisin today. Instead, I coaxed a headstrong blondie into existence. This has been a terrific day. I can't wait to share these blondies. They taste best if you nuke them for a few seconds in the microwave.

Now, to call them: Hot Blonde? Leggy Blonde? Rockin' Blondie?

I like Hot Blonde. Yes. The Hot Blonde is going to be my trademark cookie-bar. I will make my first million with the Hot Blonde.