Last night I was baking my first batch of Cosmomorphic Cookies. And it almost went completely south. It almost resulted in an oven/house fire. It almost released toxic fumes into the air but superheating plastic wrap in the manner which was not intended. And all because someone decided to use the oven as storage without telling anyone. For the record, I strongly advise against storing ANYthing plastic, cloth, flamable, food, canned foods or otherwise in the oven. Especially when there is an understanding that I will be baking in that oven, today.
It started off pretty well, the mixing of the batter was lovely, simple, less moist than last time. But then I doubled the recipe and sometimes that can be the undoing. Marina was telling me how her mother will wax laconic about the dangers of doubling or halving recipes. It's not linear mathematics. It is complex food algorithms that have a connection with chemistry. Either way, the batter tasted delicious. Fudge-y, chocolate-y, rich and not too sweet. Taking into account Rob's (ahem) comment that the last batch were "too rich" (and yet he inhaled them when I left the room, spiteful gnome), I tried to make this batch more cake-like. But I really should not have because there is no point in fixing something that is not broken, and Rob's (ahem) comment was in no way positive identification that it needed changing.
I made a half jelly roll sheet of dark chocolate brownies with cashews and caramel embedded in the batter. (I preheated the oven. I freaked out that there were things in the oven being superheated. I calmed down after the panic attack and assessed that there was no damage. I let the oven finish preheating. Convection ovens rock! 0 - 350 degrees in less than 10 mins if you don't do something stupid). I inserted the tray of brownies, looking all glossy and lovely and delicious. It baked. I removed and observed that some of the batter had slid over to the left hand side. The range is at an angle, I guess. Damn those stupid installation people! They pulled out a level-measuring thing with the air bubble, but I suspect that it was JUST FOR SHOW. This was not part of the bargain! I have to fully perform my part (paying) so why don't you fully perform your part by delivering and properly installing a brand new range? Why does buying a range require such monitoring? You don't see customers going through the motions, just for show, of paying. I don't hand the cashier my safeway card and pretend like it's a credit card and expect to get away with it. Buying this gorgeous oven from this stupid appliance store has been one gigantic headache over and over again. It has been an entire contracts law question from offer/acceptance, Statute of Frauds, non-conforming goods, rejection, revocation, etc.
Right. I'm ok. Had to let off a little steam there.
This morning, I finished off the brownies by drizzling with melted caramel and melted white chocolate. It looks gorgeous. I'm going to cut them up, wrap them, and mail them off as soon as I finish my Criminal Law lecture. Pictures to come. And yes. I tasted a corner of the brownie. And I ate a small cashew. This is how I show you that I love you. I put my life at risk to make sure the brownies are not gross.
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