So eloquent. I know. Last week was the first week of bar study. The first 3 days were "Previews" that played on DVDs (breaks and all) in the lecture hall of Boalt. The tables were old-fashioned narrow like you would see in lecture halls in European Academic Institutions. And the chairs were enough uncomfortable so you would stay paying attention. And it was frigid in there. The frost that built up on the tip of my nose could have fallen off an airplane waste disposal tank and killed a medium sized farm animal.
The "Previews" were really more like secular godsmacks. They take some subjects that are relatively ordinary sounding, subjects that I have taken in law school, and then add some god-awful subjects to it like Mortgages. Then, they give you some practice questions and when you score lower than 49% across the board, they have successfully made you feel really dumb, incapable of being taught, and ugly too.
The first topic covered is Real Property. I am in real property hell. There is so much to know. At one point during 1L year I was pretty good with this. I could tell the difference between a vest remainder subject to open and a executory interest and fee simple determinable. The terms used to roll off my tongue. Not anymore. The difference between the species is sometimes as small and subtle as WHERE THE COMMA is. Or whether the condition is written before the devisee or after the devisee's name. How's that for preciseness? I'll precise you in half.
And then there are the notice recording systems. The difference in language between a notice system and a race notice system is whether the word "first" appears somewhere. Additionally, the statutes are typically always written in prohibitory language. "You are not allowed to do this, unless this happens." This leaves the questions: so when ARE you allowed to do this? If only Lou were correct and all property belongs to the emperor. All hail the Emperor.
After doing a few practice multiple choice questions, I've managed to raise my percentage correct to slightly above 60%, only to have it drop at the end of the day. I was sick this weekend though. Hopefully that explains the absolute lack of desire to concentrate, the lack of motivation, the headache that follows intense periods of reading and the drippy nose/sneezing/coughing/difficulty breathing.
It's only been the first week of bar study and I'm already behind in the assignments. So many things to do. So much to memorize. My hand is starting to cramp up from writing flash cards and from filling out that Lecture Handout Workbook. I feel like every time I manage to remember something, a different piece of information falls out of my head. I can't hold them all at once. On the way back from SF, I nearly had a panic attack on the freeway. The ridiculousness of the situation is that I was really worried that I hadn't learned 8 months worth of Real Property in 3 days. I was devastated that I didn't know it by day 3. Disappointed in myself, really.
Today is a holiday (really?) and I have to catchup on the assignments. My work is cut out for me. I have pages and problems to do. 100 opportunities to acknowledge the destruction of time on brain tissue and cognitive regeneration. Where's my memory castle when I need it? Here castle, castle, castle.
Running away to Belize is looking more and more enticing every day. With every low score on the practice exams, I am encouraged to go to a foreign country.
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