Lectures of worthier title

What am I doing, throwing around these terms? I don't even KNOW what Doctrine of Worthier Title means. But it sounds impressive, yeah?

Second week of bar study. The I House is bad for my health. Case in point: last week, I attended a VIDEO lecture at the I House on Thursday evening (from 6-10pm!) and it was cold, wet, and old. I started getting a freakish fever, sore throat, body aches and headache. I go home and was down for the count all weekend. Sick. Could not see. Terrible. This justified staying home on Friday and listening to the lecture at my leisure on my computer at a much more reasonable hour. Today, I got back to the I House for the Contracts lecture. 15 minutes into the lecture, I start coughing again. It is a deep, soul-wrenching, tuberculosis sounding cough. A hack. I sound like an old lady that has been working in the salt mines, lit by the flame of dirty candles and inhaling the ever-present dust of sodium. This proves to me that the I House is bad for my health. Additionally, I really object to the late late hour of the lectures. 10 pm is way past my bedtime. Especially since I wake up so early (6-7 am automatically).

The Contracts lecturer is different from the Property lecturer. Very different. The handouts are radically different too. The margins are bigger and there is plenty of space to fill in the blanks. (BTW, that's the secret of BarBri: Lecture handouts with fill-in-the-blanks. You are paying big bucks for the interactive paced program and for a 900 page book of handouts.) Contracts handout: not so much room to write. And yet he speaks so much. Such gems of wisdom. Imagine white-haired Epstein in the SHOWER with SHARON STONE, offering to sell her a 1973 Cadillac.

As for the other material, there is about 400 hours worth of lecture material that I have to listen to in 8 weeks. The math doesn't add up, does it? Some of the lectures are for practice exams (yes, I am still scoring around 50% for the mixed topic practice exam.) which are so excruciatingly peppy. It's not enough that they give out the answers with detailed explanations. They carefully paired it with 45 - 95 minute long lectures verbally explaining why I am an IDIOT for going to law school. I don't even know if that was meant to be sarcastic.

This morning our Dean of Bar Examination Studies sent us an email that roughly said "it's ok to feel really stupid right now, because that is normal....sometimes by the end, you still might not get it and thus, will fail the bar." I guess several people have been more vocal about the frustration, dread, overwhelming send of inadequacy after the first week of Real Property. When I took the subject in law school, I did fine! But now? Nope. Nope. NOPE NOPE NOPE. It's like I did nothing at all.

On a brighter note: I had a terrific acupuncture treatment this afternoon. My eyes have been tightening up due to focusing on the small words densely printed on the pages. When I look up from my books, it's as if my face has been inverted and my eyes bulge inwards. I have tension in the area around my eyes, up the forehead, around the top of the head, circling back along my temples, returning to my eyes. Plus I've been spitting fire from my heart qi. The anxiety has not made me fatigued and slow. Instead, it resembles an egg-spoon race on concrete where I can focus and keep my balance, but when I start to worry, the egg falls out of my spoon and shatters into a million pieces. An egg filled with glass beads. There is a lot of frenetic energy in my brain. Thus we have been working on "centering" and calming my fire qi. Harness the power of fire qi.

Done for the night. It's around 9pm. Can't think any more. Have to shower, soak my feet, get ready for bed and listen to some running water sounds. Bright and early start tomorrow, now that I've declared liberation from the evil forces of I House! Never again shall I darken the hearth of that putrid institution of oppression!

Christina OUT!